The following is an email I sent to all attending the Festivus Holiday party on my 62 foot yacht in Palm Beach, Florida. Sorry I’m not sorry. Wish you could make it.

Dear All Festivus, Festivi, Festivers?

Anyway, I am in a constant state of giggle regarding tonite’s festivities. Sure, ive poured enough coffee on my face this morning to kill a small child but lets be honest, its festivus. Look, things are going to get weird, really quick tonite. We are talking santa, elves, fake snow, cookies, cocktails, festive garb, a dog dressed as a reindeer, a broken down sleigh, the high seas and high times of the intercoastal, who knows maybe enough a manatee will stop by for some patron, I can not be held accountable. Just FYI, my sweater is bold, loud and unapologetic. I hope yours can keep up. Sorry I’m not Sorry.