I went on a date last night. It was something I was looking forward to considering the girl is attractive and very smart and quite successful.  She does business all over the world and has meetings all over the globe on a weekly basis. Impressive stuff.

Well, my world came crashing down last night. I was talking about my infamous Geico Caveman halloween outfit, which she saw in person. I was talking about how fun that was and how, who knows maybe I will become the Geico caveman again to go christmas shopping.  Then, she stabbed me. She said “I…hate….halloween”

Take a moment. Take a breath. Have a cocktail. Reboot your computer to make sure it isnt lying to you. That happened. She followed that up with “But i love other holidays like christmas, easter, fourth of july, etc”

After about 2 minutes of external silence and internal rage/turmoil, i calmly responded. I said to her “Look. This is serious. I just, I can’t, jesus this is terrible. Look. I dress up for non-dress up holidays. I dress up when there is no reason to dress up. For dress up holidays, I dedicate half a day to dressing up. Im sorry im not sorry.”

She then rambled off “I dont even buy candy for the kids, I turn off my lights and everything.” Scrooge. So hear I am, putting razor blades in snickers bars, with 3 pounds of airbrushed makeup and prosthetics with a skull that my own mother couldnt recognize, and this girl that just put a $13 glass of wine on my tab comes off with this?

Dating a girl that doesn’t enjoy halloween and get fully into the festive opportunities in the holidays, well I feel as though that is the same as going to a playground with no swing set. WHATS THE POINT IF I CAN’T FLY, WIND BENEATH MY WINGS????