After a successful business trip to California and a 630AM flight home, my worst option on my final evening was to go out drinking and gambling at the local casino, however it was at the top of my priority list.

Welp, I missed that 630AM flight by 40 minutes, and found myself with 3 hours to waste in the Ontario, California airport until my new 9:40am flight.  Hungry, I decided to see what this regional airport had to offer.  I settled on the zero star rated “El Paso-The taste of mexico” food stop, in a food court with 1 other option, a bar…this was a tough decision as the opportunity for a breakfast of canadian whiskey and bacon seemed apparent at the bar.  The above picture features my order, “Los huevos a la Mexicana”.  With such a name I expected the dish to taste of Mexican patriotism. Los Huevos a la Mexicana was described to me as scrambled eggs with peppers, onions and tomatoes.  What was not described to was that the eggs took up about 20 percent of the plate, and liquid beans took up 70 percent of the plate, and eventually ran into the eggs, submerging them.  Lets play a game, take a look at that picture and what is the first thought that comes to mind? Thats correct. Diarrhea.  As I was eating this meal, I thought to myself “I wonder how far seat 13F is from the bathroom, I hope I dont shit myself, again.”   As I began to finish the breakfast, my lower back began to cramp and I was beading sweat on my forehead.  This brings me to my next point.  There is no way to play off taking a shit on a plane.  You are in a small space with 100 strangers, and everyone knows when you go to the bathroom.  When you are in that bathroom for any amount of time over 5 minutes, everyone knows you are taking a shit.  If you are in that bathroom for more than 10 minutes, everyone knows you might be peeing out of your butt.  The worst is being in there for 15 minutes, finally emerging and having people look at you as if you are a long dead relative, completely surprised you made it out alive.