I went to a bar last night to watch the phillies game. my tab at the end of the night was 24 dollars. the bartender was cute and i did not know her, so i left a $20 tip. she gave me a big hug and asked me to come in again soon…as i was walking out i thought to myself “congrats. you are the scummy old guy throwing around money that you hated in college. fucking prick”