September 2008
14 posts
More productive
Lately i’ve been bringing my dog into the office periodically and im more productive with the pooch at work…its so weird.
Joe Biden's Lack of Charitable Giving.
The most surprising fact I learned yesterday:
Democratic vice presidential nominee Sen. Joe Biden released 10 years of tax returns Friday…The Bidens’ joint gross income hovered between $215,000 and $320,000 a year during this period…The amount they gave to charity during this period never exceeded one-half of 1% of their annual income. The Bidens never gave more than $995 to...
“Wow, Barack! The ni**a’s name is Barack. Barack? Ni**a named Barack Obama. What...”
– An interview with The convict formerly known as DMX
Reblog till Marriage
Agent: how do i get more people following the agent
ClownHouse: follow them and reblog
ClownHouse: i know it takes work but its flattery to other people
Agent: so you're saying that if i reblog katy perry enough, we will eventually date?
ClownHouse: ewwwww
ClownHouse: thats hot though
Agent: Don't you ewwww my katy.
Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong
Agent: what are your plans this weekend?
MuslimFriend: absolutely nada
MuslimFriend: its still ramadan, laying low
Agent: i didnt realize you practiced your faith
MuslimFriend: yeah, lil bit here and there, this month sucks
Agent: you say ramadan. i say ramada
MuslimFriend: im rama DONE
“time is money, money is time
so i keep 7 o’clock in the bank and gain interest...”
– saul williams (via marcusmcfly)
“too fly not to fly”…genius line.
marcusmcfly:
Kanye West - Love Lockdown
Thank...
Trainsmoke
Agent:
there was a chick in publix tonite that was hotter than trainsmoke...i wanted to use that on her and then confuse her with a cloud of butterflies and philanthropy
Financials:
dude, can I borrow that? trainsmoke...love it. you should have! the women love the edge then you follow it up with the charitable chat....it's gold
Agent:
and caccoons of moths, yet butterflies. its like fucking birth. right there in your hand
and then all of a sudden, you are a giver, and that my friend is hotter than trainsmoke in the eyes of a woman
Financials:
its like you're god watching life's little miracle. Yes, the "giver" is the ass getter
Agent:
yea
Financials:
i need to give more
Agent:
your like, hey babe...the bread aisle will be here all day, lets watch life happen.
Financials:
teach this old dog new tricks....please
Financials:
hey babe, this milk doesn't expire for 8 days...lets go smell a rose
Agent:
exactly
babe. that rotisserie takes a few hours. lets go skip in a meadow, i dont know. get all hopped up and happy...spin in a circle. maybe fall over and get all itchy from the grass. hope you dont hold me accountable
Financials:
now that's trainsmoke
Agent:
next meeting i think im just the abstract suggestion guy
"hey what if we just throw a cloud watching fundraiser. you know. watch mother nature do the waltz in the sky, maybe hang glide the gulf stream. i dont know, kinda over cocktails. who am i kidding, cocktails are always included in cloud observation"
Financials:
yes, i suggest you start that. F meetings, no one comes. i'm experiencing serious cruise withdrawl and I'm cranky...sorry for the F comment
Agent:
Dont yell at me.
Trophy Shop.
For the past 6 years of my life, I have been told on a fairly consistent basis by people you have no connection to each other that they hold the belief that when and if i get married, i will have a “trophy wife”. At first I took this as insulting, but now, after discussions with more people I find that this really is a compliment. Men with trophy wives are succesful in their...
Fat Loss
Girl@Bar: I'm 5'4 105 pounds
ME: (give funny look)
Girl@Bar: OH SO YOU THINK IM FAT? YOU'RE A DICK
ME: Whoa. Hold the crazy. I never called you anything. But I do know a guy that could get you to 104.
Everyone: **Laughter**
Girl@bar: **scowling look**