December 2008
19 posts
SINS-The Blog →
SINS-A New Support Group for Cocktailers →
Worst Answer Possible
“Dude, your girlfriend’s sister is cute…why didn’t you tell me she had a sister?”
“She is 15, but you’re welcome to make a move”
“Ugh, not again.”
MAN GETS ARRESTED IN AIRPORT FOR...
Sometimes in life, you witness something happen and just think to yourself, “This, is epic.” I have had many of these moments, like when Becca Reznik had D-Cups in 4th grade, or when I fake choked on an oreo in third grade to get Sarah Milby’s sympathy…another tale of epic proportions.
This story is so epic that the punch line is the topic sentence, much like a 5 paragraph...
Additional Holiday Party News
I have purchased a 48 inch (4 foot) tall Reindeer with mechanical moving head for the party. Said Reindeer will be situated on the bow (front) of the boat, and available for rides. Be weary of fake snow, it is storied to be slippery and hazardous.
Facebook interests: Wasting money, sorry im not sorry
Holiday Party Warning
The following is an email I sent to all attending the Festivus Holiday party on my 62 foot yacht in Palm Beach, Florida. Sorry I’m not sorry. Wish you could make it.
Dear All Festivus, Festivi, Festivers? Anyway, I am in a constant state of giggle regarding tonite’s festivities. Sure, ive poured enough coffee on my face this morning to kill a small child but lets be honest, its...
2 Birthdays.
Every 12 months, we have at least one day to look forward to. For me, it is taking the day off for Martin Luther King’s birthday. For others, it is to celebrate their own birth. The more I think about it, I realize something. December 25th is Jesus’ birthday. And you know that whole shtich about him giving us his everything for our sins? Well I think we both know that it would take a...
Whats that smell? Dogs? Sex? Sleep?
At first, it was a bit depressing that I slept with 120 pounds of english bulldogs on a nightly basis, however I am starting to realize that sleeping with 2 massive bulldogs during their orchestra of snoring leaves a person waking up smelling like dog…which really isnt much doesnt feel much different than waking up smelling like sex…the means to an end, without the regrets.
Holiday Hater
I went on a date last night. It was something I was looking forward to considering the girl is attractive and very smart and quite successful. She does business all over the world and has meetings all over the globe on a weekly basis. Impressive stuff.
Well, my world came crashing down last night. I was talking about my infamous Geico Caveman halloween outfit, which she saw in person. I was...
